A Childhood Shaped by Fear
Growing up, I navigated a world where intense emotions, like my dad’s unpredictable anger, taught me to stay quiet and keep the peace. My nervous system adapted, wiring me to be cautious, always sensing the mood around me to feel safe. That early pattern carried into adulthood, where I found myself drawn to relationships with similar dynamics—men whose criticism or rage left me feeling like nothing I did was enough. My body held the tension: a tight chest, a restless stomach, a bone-deep exhaustion. But my mom’s passing, her angelic sacrifice, lifted a veil of truth. Her cancer, likely fueled by years of suppressed shame and stress, revealed the profound cost of holding pain inside. Her light now guides me, and our lineage of women, toward a path of resilience and sovereignty, healing our bodies and spirits from within.
The Body’s Cry for Healing
The stress of narcissistic abuse, especially the fear of unpredictable anger, doesn’t just weigh on your heart—it lodges in your nervous system, manifesting as physical health challenges. The American Psychological Association notes that chronic stress can disrupt the immune system, increasing risks for inflammation-driven diseases like cancer. The Cleveland Clinic connects suppressed emotions to gut disorders, like irritable bowel syndrome, because the body stores unresolved pain. My mom’s life reflected this—her body carried the weight of unexpressed stress, a silent burden that likely contributed to her illness. Her passing was a divine revelation, showing me that suppressing shame and stress can harm us deeply. It was a call to embrace resilience, to heal the patterns that keep us stuck, and to reclaim our health for ourselves and for the women who came before us.
Rewiring the Nervous System Through Resilience
Healing shame is how we break free and restore our bodies. I once thought my worth depended on navigating others’ emotions, on being “enough” to avoid criticism. But facing that shame, feeling it in my body, I found strength. Trauma expert Gabor Maté explains in When the Body Says No that early patterns, like living in fear of anger, get stored in the nervous system, leading to physical symptoms like digestive issues or chronic fatigue. Through somatic mindfulness—deep, intentional breathing, gentle body scans—I began to notice where I held that tension: a knot in my gut, tightness in my shoulders. By giving those sensations space, I released the need to manage others’ moods. My digestion improved, my energy returned, and I felt a new sense of safety in my body. This is resilience—choosing to heal, to let go of old patterns, and to reclaim your health.
A Woman’s Journey to Sovereignty
This is a woman’s path to sovereignty: embracing our worth beyond others’ emotions or expectations. My mom’s sacrifice pointed me to God’s boundless love, my true foundation. Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear not, for I am with you.” That promise gave me the courage to set boundaries, to trust God’s plan for my health and peace. Her love showed me my value lies in His purpose, not in past patterns or criticism. The fear and codependency from narcissistic abuse can be released—it starts with healing the nervous system, with faith and intention.
An Invitation to Heal and Thrive
To every woman carrying the weight of old patterns or narcissistic abuse, know this: you are resilient, and your body can heal. Releasing shame and stress can restore your immune system, your gut, your spirit. My mom’s light inspires me to share this journey, to help women find freedom from the physical and emotional toll of suppressed pain. I’ve created a space to guide women through a complex trauma-informed approach, using somatic mindfulness to release what’s stuck. With weekly live support, I walk you step-by-step to let go of fear, anxiety, and codependency, helping you feel whole again. If you’re ready to begin, take a deep breath, notice your body, and trust God’s love to guide you. Stay tuned for more on this path to sovereignty, where your health and worth shine, honoring the women before us who lit the way.
