Healing CPTSD: Your Journey to Reclaiming Your True Self
Hey there. If you’re reading this, you might be feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or like you’re carrying a weight you can’t quite name. Maybe you’ve heard of PTSD—those intense flashbacks from a single event, like a car crash. But Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or CPTSD, is a different kind of struggle. It’s not about one moment—it’s about years of repeated trauma, often from childhood, like growing up in a home filled with narcissistic abuse. If that resonates, I see you, and I’m here to help you understand what CPTSD is and how you can start healing.
What Is CPTSD, Really?
You’ve probably heard of PTSD, where a single traumatic event—like a car accident—triggers flashbacks that haunt you. CPTSD is deeper, more layered. It comes from developmental trauma, the kind that happens over and over, especially when you’re young. Think of a childhood where you’re constantly criticized, shamed, or manipulated, forced to mould yourself into someone else’s idea of “perfect” just to feel safe. That’s the kind of trauma we’re talking about—relentless, invalidating, and deeply wounding.
This isn’t just one bad day. It’s years of emotional attacks—gaslighting, name-calling, threats, or shaming—that chip away at your sense of self. Maybe you grew up with a narcissistic parent who demanded you meet their needs, not yours. They might’ve said things like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “Why can’t you just do it my way?” Over time, that creates a toxic shame that makes it hard to feel okay being you. It shapes how you see yourself, how you feel, and how you navigate the world. Learn more about trauma’s impact on the body from Bessel van der Kolk.
How CPTSD Feels in Your Everyday Life
If you’ve lived through this, you know it’s more than just bad memories. CPTSD can feel like a constant heaviness—chronic anxiety, depression, or a nagging sense that something’s wrong with you. You might feel disconnected from your emotions, like you’re living through a version of yourself that isn’t really you. That’s because growing up in a household with narcissistic abuse or emotional chaos forces you to adapt in ways that don’t serve your true self.
Maybe you suppress your feelings to avoid conflict. Maybe you zone out or dissociate to escape the pain. Or maybe you’ve become a people-pleaser, always chasing approval because that’s what kept you safe as a kid. These are survival mechanisms, and they’re brilliant in their own way—they got you through. But they come at a cost. When your thoughts, feelings, or opinions are constantly dismissed or criticized, you start dismissing yourself. You might struggle with emotional dysregulation—feeling everything too intensely or nothing at all. You might crave validation from others, even if they’re not good for you, because you were conditioned to seek approval from the outside. Dr. Gabor Maté explains how early experiences shape lifelong patterns.
The Roots of CPTSD: Narcissistic Abuse and Its Lasting Impact
Let’s talk about narcissistic abuse, because it’s often at the core of CPTSD. Picture a parent or caregiver who needs you to be a certain way—not for your benefit, but to meet their needs. They might use tactics like shaming, gaslighting, verbal abuse, or even threats to keep you under their control. It’s all about them—their expectations, their image, their demands. Your needs? They barely register.
If you grew up in this kind of environment, especially with domestic violence or emotional instability, it’s like living in a war zone. You’re always on edge, never feeling safe to be yourself. You might’ve been told you’re “not good enough” unless you meet impossible standards. Over time, you learn that your feelings don’t matter, that you’re only okay if you please them. This creates a false self—a version of you built to survive, not thrive. You might become codependent, abandoning your own needs to keep the peace, or dissociate to escape the pain. These patterns can follow you into adulthood, showing up as:
- Seeking validation from unhealthy people or relationships.
- Struggling with attachment issues, where connection feels unsafe.
- Battling addictions to numb the pain or escape reality.
- Feeling constant anxiety, depression, or self-doubt because it’s never felt safe to be yourself.
This is what makes CPTSD so complex—it’s not just one wound, but a web of experiences that shape your entire worldview. Trauma-Informed Care offers insights into how these patterns form.
Why Healing CPTSD Is So Important
Living with CPTSD can feel like you’re trapped in that false self, never at peace, always dysregulated, and constantly wondering who you really are. You might feel like you’re chasing validation, escaping pain, or trauma-bonding with people who don’t lift you up. It’s exhausting, and it’s no way to live. But here’s the good news: you can heal. You deserve to reclaim your true voice, your authentic power, and a life where you feel safe to be you. Healing CPTSD isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about shedding the coping mechanisms and survival adaptations that kept you stuck. It’s about breaking free from the shame, fear, and pain that have held you back for so long.
How I Help You Heal CPTSD
I’m not here to offer you cookie-cutter therapy that doesn’t get to the root of things. My approach to healing CPTSD is different because it’s layered, holistic, and deeply trauma-informed. Regular talk therapy or basic CBT often falls short with CPTSD—it’s like trying to fix a broken house with a Band-Aid. You can talk about your feelings all day, but without addressing the complexity of your trauma, you’re just spinning your wheels. You need a therapist who gets it—someone who understands that trauma lives in your body, your nervous system, and the way you relate to the world.
My approach is multi-pronged because CPTSD is multi-layered. We don’t just focus on one piece—we tackle the whole picture. Here’s what that looks like:
Regulating Your Nervous System
Trauma gets stuck in your body, making you feel constantly on edge or shut down. We’ll work on calming your nervous system with body-based techniques, like somatic exercises or mindfulness, to help you feel grounded and safe again. Bessel van der Kolk’s work shows how trauma lives in the body.
Processing Rage and Expression
All those buried emotions—like anger, grief, or fear—need a safe space to come out. We’ll do expression work to release what’s been trapped, so you’re not carrying that weight inside anymore.
Healing Core Wounds
The shame, pain, and fear from narcissistic abuse run deep. We’ll gently uncover those wounds, working through the invalidation and self-doubt to rebuild your sense of worth.
Shifting Power Dynamics
CPTSD often leaves you feeling powerless, especially in relationships. We’ll explore how those old dynamics play out today and help you reclaim your power, setting boundaries that honor your true self.
Breaking Codependency and Victimhood
You’ve been conditioned to seek validation outside yourself, but we’ll shift that. You’ll learn to trust your own voice and stop abandoning yourself to please others.
Connecting to Your Body and Heart
Trauma disconnects you from your body, but healing brings you back. We’ll use body-based work to help you feel present, reconnecting you to your emotions in a safe way. Gabor Maté’s insights on trauma and connection guide this process.
Rewriting How You Relate
CPTSD can make relationships feel chaotic or unsafe. We’ll look at how you connect with others, healing old patterns and building healthier, more secure attachments.
Why a Complex Trauma-Informed Approach Makes All the Difference
Here’s the truth: not every therapist understands CPTSD. You need someone who gets the nuances of complex trauma—how it’s not just one event but a web of experiences that shape your entire perception of yourself and the world. Without a trauma-informed lens, therapy can feel like going in circles, talking about feelings without getting to the root. I’m trained to see the whole picture—how trauma lives in your body, how it shapes your thoughts, and how it shows up in your relationships. My approach draws on the work of experts like Bessel van der Kolk, who shows us trauma is stored in the body, and Gabor Maté, who connects early experiences to lifelong emotional patterns. It’s integrative, targeted, and designed to help you heal at every level. Explore more about trauma-informed care.
You’re Not Alone, and Healing Is Possible
If this feels like your story, I want you to know you’re not alone. Living with CPTSD is heavy—it’s like carrying a weight you didn’t ask for, feeling anxious, disconnected, or lost in a version of yourself that doesn’t feel real. But you don’t have to stay there. Healing CPTSD is a journey, and it’s not always easy, but it’s so worth it. It’s about shedding that false self you built to survive, letting go of the shame and fear, and finding your true voice. It’s about reclaiming your power and living with peace, maybe for the first time.
I know how scary it can feel to take that first step, but you don’t have to do it alone. I’m here to walk with you, using a compassionate, trauma-informed approach that meets you where you are. Together, we’ll unravel the layers, heal those deep wounds, and help you rediscover the real you—the one who’s strong, worthy, and deserving of love.
Ready to Start Your Healing Journey?
If you’re ready to heal CPTSD, reclaim your soul, and step into your authentic power, let’s connect. Book a consultation with me today, and let’s start this journey together. I’d love to help you shed the coping mechanisms, break free from the past, and find the peace you deserve. You’re not just surviving—you’re ready to thrive. Let’s make it happen.
