For many empaths and survivors of narcissistic abuse, stepping into your full power in business, relationships, and life can feel like an overwhelming challenge. The weight of shame, victimhood, and self-doubt often keeps us hiding, waiting for the moment we feel “good enough” to show up. Today, I experienced a profound shift in healing deep layers of these wounds, particularly in how I relate to the masculine and my business. By confronting the pain of childhood emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse, I uncovered how these experiences shaped my fear of being seen and my tendency to perform for validation. If you’ve felt trapped by similar patterns, this guide offers actionable steps to heal from narcissistic abuse, reconnect with your true self, and build a life and business rooted in authenticity and alignment with God’s plan. Optimized for low to medium competition keywords like “healing narcissistic abuse,” “overcoming shame in business,” and “authentic self in relationships,” this post is for anyone ready to break free and embrace their inherent worth.
Understanding the Roots of Shame and Victimhood
Narcissistic abuse—whether from a parent, partner, or authority figure—leaves deep emotional scars that can linger for years. For me, growing up with constant criticism and invalidation (“you’re not good enough,” “you don’t know anything”) created a core belief that I had to prove my worth. This led to patterns of victimhood and shame, especially in how I approached relationships with the masculine and my business. I carried the pain of emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse from my father, which made me hesitant to take risks or fully express myself. Instead of connecting authentically, I hid behind performance, trying to control how others perceived me to avoid rejection.
If this sounds familiar, know that these patterns are not your identity—they’re survival mechanisms developed to cope with prolonged trauma. Narcissistic abuse often leads to hypervigilance, people-pleasing, or dissociation, where you disconnect from your pain to feel safe. These behaviors can show up as avoiding risks in business, fearing criticism from clients, or expecting hurt in relationships. Healing begins by acknowledging these wounds without judgment and recognizing how they block your ability to live authentically.
Actionable Step: Set aside 10 minutes to journal about a memory where you felt invalidated or criticized. Write down the emotions—shame, fear, or hurt—and notice how they influence your actions today, whether in business decisions or personal connections. For further insight, explore Psychology Today’s guide on narcissistic abuse to understand its long-term effects.
Breaking the Cycle of Performance
One of the most profound realizations I had today was how much I relied on performance to shield myself from pain. By seeking external validation or trying to control others’ perceptions, I disconnected from my true self. This showed up as projecting victimhood onto the masculine—expecting hurt because that’s what I knew from years of abuse—and avoiding the risks of building my business. I was so used to being criticized that I approached opportunities with wounding, assuming I’d be rejected or dismissed. Performance felt like a safe armor, but it kept me from creating authentically and aligning with my purpose.
Healing from narcissistic abuse means dismantling these false structures and embracing your inherent worth. For me, this involved sitting with the pain of past abuse, grieving the years I spent hiding, and letting go of the need to manipulate how I’m perceived. By doing so, I began to connect with my deeper self, trusting that my journey—messy and imperfect—is enough. This shift allows you to create from a place of authenticity, whether you’re launching a business, marketing your services, or building relationships.
Actionable Step: Practice a somatic exercise like deep breathing or body scanning to reconnect with your body and release stored pain. The Greater Good Science Center offers mindfulness practices that can help you stay present and move away from performance-based habits. Try this for five minutes daily to ground yourself in your authentic self.
Reclaiming Power in Relationships with the Masculine
Narcissistic abuse can deeply distort how we relate to others, especially in gendered dynamics. For me, approaching the masculine with wounding—expecting hurt or rejection—was a direct result of my past. I projected my pain, assuming others would harm me because that’s what I experienced growing up. This showed up not just in personal relationships but also in my business, where I hesitated to market myself or set boundaries with clients, fearing criticism or failure.
Healing this meant owning my hurt, not closing off, but processing it so I could engage from a place of strength. It’s about recognizing that you don’t have to carry the wounds of past abuse into new interactions. By healing the shame and fear tied to those experiences, you can approach relationships—personal and professional—with confidence and clarity. This doesn’t mean everyone will align with you, but it frees you to connect authentically with those who value your true self.
Actionable Step: Reflect on a relationship (personal or professional) where you feel guarded or expect hurt. Write down one boundary you can set to protect your energy while staying open, such as declining a client’s unrealistic demand or communicating your needs clearly. For guidance on setting boundaries, check out Verywell Mind’s article on healthy boundaries.
Aligning with God’s Plan for Healing
A turning point in my healing was trusting God’s plan over my own need for control. For years, I thought I was waiting to be ready—to be good enough for business, relationships, or success. But I realized God was waiting for me to connect with myself. This shift was deeply influenced by my mother’s illness and passing, which taught me that true healing comes from surrendering to divine will. By aligning with God’s grace, I let go of the need to perform or prove myself, trusting that the right people—clients, friends, or partners—would find me.
For survivors of narcissistic abuse, this spiritual alignment can be a game-changer. It’s about knowing your worth isn’t tied to others’ approval but to your God-given purpose. This perspective helped me stop scaling my business from a place of fear and instead focus on sharing my journey authentically. Whether through prayer, meditation, or journaling, connecting to your spiritual center can guide you to release shame and step into sovereignty.
Actionable Step: Spend five minutes in prayer or meditation, asking for guidance to trust your journey. Journal any insights about how past pain might be blocking your alignment with your purpose. The Chopra Center offers guided meditations for emotional healing that can support this process.
Building a Sovereign Business as an Empath
Running a business as an empath or survivor of narcissistic abuse means letting go of perfectionism and the fear of not being liked. For me, avoiding core pain kept me from creating authentically, but healing those wounds showed me that my story—overcoming CPTSD, codependency, and shame—is enough. You don’t need to share every detail of your life, just like in dating; you only need to show up as your true self, trusting that your journey will resonate with those who need it.
This sovereignty extends to health and wealth creation. The shame from abuse can make you feel powerless around money or success, but by healing these layers, you reclaim your ability to build a thriving business. Being part of a Christian community provided me with practical business tools and spiritual support, reinforcing that my work is part of a divine plan. Whether you’re creating a course, coaching clients, or sharing your story, focus on authenticity over performance.
Actionable Step: Create a small offering—like a blog post, workshop, or social media share—based on one aspect of your healing journey. Focus on authenticity, not perfection. For business tips tailored to empaths, explore Entrepreneur’s guide to emotional intelligence.
Moving Forward with Authentic Expression
Healing from narcissistic abuse is about connecting with your true self, not performing for others. It’s about sitting with the pain, releasing the shame, and trusting that you are enough. For me, this meant letting go of the need to control perceptions and instead sharing my story of healing trauma and finding worth. It’s not about scaling a business or building relationships from fear, but from alignment with God and self.
If you’re feeling stuck, isolated, or disconnected, know that this may be a season where God is calling you to find yourself. Authentic relationships—with clients, friends, or partners—start with that connection to your true self. By healing the wounds of narcissistic abuse, you can step into your power, create a soul-aligned business, and live with the freedom of knowing you’re enough.
Call to Action: Share one part of your healing journey in the comments below or with a trusted friend. How has letting go of shame or victimhood helped you show up in your business or relationships? For more resources on healing trauma, visit The National Center for PTSD or connect with a trauma-informed therapist to support your journey. Book a free consultation here
