Okay, so, like, I’m sitting here, and it’s hitting me hard. I’ve been healing this insane, like, abusive, internalized, narcissistic, codependent relationship with my business. And it’s not just business—it’s money, too. It’s this whole, like, masculine wound, the relational piece around all of that. My business was mirroring it all back to me, like a giant neon sign screaming, Look at this! And where am I at right now? I feel like I can do this. I can stay grounded in my body. I can do everything in balance. I don’t have to, like, chase or beg or twist myself into knots anymore.
The Old Me: Chasing Validation, Losing Myself
From the very beginning, I couldn’t have done business. Not really. I was seeking too much validation, like, extremely codependent on it. I couldn’t focus at all—there was so much dismissing myself, so much rejection, like I was just abusing myself inside. Every time I’d put something out there, I could literally feel the voices, the emotions, that subconscious talk telling me to destroy it. It was like my business was gaslighting me, shaming me, doubting me. And it wasn’t just business—it was money, too. I’d treat money like it was this guy who’d control me, like I had to prove myself to it. And it mirrored my relationships with men, too. I’d tolerate abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and control because I thought that’s what I deserved.
I used to think I needed everyone’s approval—social media, money, men. I’d post something and wait for the likes, like they’d tell me I was good enough. If a guy didn’t like me, I’d spiral—what’s wrong with me? I was addicted to that validation, that attention, and it kept me stuck, collecting shame, never feeling good enough, always at someone else’s mercy. If those people weren’t emotionally safe, how could I ever feel safe in myself? How could I trust my voice, trust what I needed to say?
The Shift: Finding Balance, Not Pedestaling
But now? I’m, like, arriving at this place inside myself where it’s just me. I don’t need anyone’s validation—not social media, not money, not my business. I can write posts around my core message, stay embodied, and not put my business on a pedestal. I don’t need it to tell me I’m okay. But at the same time, it’s a balance. I’m not just, like, shouting my truth into the void. I’m thinking about what people respond to, what the market’s asking for, and delivering it in a way they understand. It’s not about metrics or pleasing everyone in a codependent way, like, I’m saying this because you want me to. It’s about being considerate, grounded, not narcissistic, not like, This is what I want to say, deal with it.
I bought this online business course, and it’s helping me implement. Not because I’m following it like a robot, but because I’m using it in a way that feels embodied. I’m not letting social media run the show, but I’m not ignoring how it works either. It’s, like, subtle energies coming together—adapting to the platform without losing myself. I’m not oversharing, not trying to please, not going over the top. Just clear, concise messages with an invitation, a call to action. Like, This is what I healed. This is what happened. And it’s powerful. I’ve gotten to this place where I can do this now. Will I slip back sometimes? Yeah, a little. I’m human. But for the most part, I’m here. I can follow through. I can implement.
Sovereignty: The Heart of Healing
This whole journey is about being sovereign. That’s what health is. It’s not being codependent on these projected, internalized abuses—this shaming, this I’m not good enough, this performance, this striving, this forcing myself because I’m being controlled. It’s knowing my voice is enough. Knowing what I say is important because I’m important. I’m valuable. I am. And if anyone says I’m not, if anyone shames me, it’s like, okay, we can always be better at something, but that doesn’t take away from who I am inside. This worthiness? It’s not something I had to work for. It’s just me in here. And it’s truly amazing.
It’s not about avoiding relationships with business, money, or people. That’s, like, a black-and-white reaction—when you’re triggered, you either cling or cut everything off. I used to think boundaries meant shutting it all down, but that’s just fear. Real boundaries let you engage without losing yourself. You see what you’re projecting—they don’t like me, so I’m worthless—and you choose to heal. You choose to say no to shaming, gaslighting, and control, whether it’s from a person or your own head. You don’t need anyone telling you you’re not good enough. You’re inherently worthy.
Boundaries, Not Barriers: Choosing Who to Align With
People show you who they are. Your business shows you. Money shows you. And you have a choice—attach to their behaviour or walk away. Set boundaries. It’s not about standing alone or tolerating misbehaviour. It’s about knowing what you deserve and only aligning with people who have the self-esteem to treat you right. When you know that yourself, you can do that for others, too. But it’s also about healing our own control, our own manipulation, our own performances. We just need to be authentic. It’s a beautiful thing.
We can help people see this. Someone’s behaviour doesn’t reflect who you are. It’s so important to detach from what’s not good for you. When they show you who they are, you have a choice to set boundaries, to walk away. You don’t have to enable it. You can take your power back. You can stop the cycle of shame, stop letting it define you. You can choose to align with what honours your worth.
A Call to Action: Start Where You Are
So here’s where I’m at: I’m healing. I’m finding myself. I’m not perfect—I’ll probably check analytics too much some days or hear that old voice saying delete it, it’s trash. But I don’t let it run me anymore. I’m implementing that course, posting my truth, and it feels like me. If this resonates, try it. Put your phone down for five minutes. Feel your heartbeat. That’s you, right there, already enough. You don’t need anyone else to say it. Try one small boundary—don’t check the stats after you post, say no to something that feels off. See how it feels.
If you’re vibing with this, come hang with me on Instagram. I’m sharing more about this journey—raw, real, no fluff. Let’s keep figuring out what it means to be sovereign, together.
