Is self-validation selfish?

No. It is the foundation of being able to love others without using them. Self-validation frees you to give freely.

Can I learn this from a book?

A book can describe it. The skill is built by practice. Most people benefit from a therapist to help see patterns they cannot see on their own.

You will lose the anxious, exhausting motivation. You will gain a steady, deep motivation that does not collapse when the applause stops.

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