Is it really possible to leave an abuser gradually?

Yes — if gradual means the internal healing is happening in layers, with the behavioral changes catching up naturally as each layer resolves. The bond and the contact have to heal in step with each other.

What is demonic compassion?

Demonic compassion is the false mercy that takes the holy impulse God put in you to love your neighbor and aims it at someone using your love as a weapon. If you feel responsible for staying with him because of how broken he is, that is the signal. God does not call you to sacrifice yourself to an abuser's woundedness.

How does closeness with God help me leave?

The closer you walk with God, the more attuned your spirit becomes to what honors Him in you. The boundary that used to feel impossible starts to feel obvious. You do not leave because you are forcing yourself — you leave because being near abuse no longer feels compatible with who you are becoming.