I know what it’s like to love your work and still feel controlled by it.
You wake up already thinking about it. You check the numbers before you check in with yourself. You say yes to things you don’t want to do because you’re afraid of what happens if you don’t. You perform. You try so hard. And underneath all of it, you’re tired in a way that sleep doesn’t fix.
If you’re an empath or a healer building a business, I want to tell you something that took me years to understand: you are in a relationship with your business. And the question isn’t whether you’re working hard enough. The question is, what kind of relationship are you in?
I was in a codependent relationship with my business
Years ago, I was in a super codependent relationship with my business. I was obsessed with it in an idolizing way. I put it on a pedestal. My business controlled me. If a business could be an abusive narcissist, that’s what mine was.
In hindsight, I can see how my own masculine wounds were projected onto my business. It felt like this harsh, controlling force, and I was people-pleasing it. I wanted to be myself, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t speak up. I was trying so hard to be perfect, performing for my business the way so many of us learned to perform for the people we were afraid of.
Why empaths and healers can’t build a business from survival mode
A lot of us start out with this voice: I gotta do this. I gotta make money. I gotta survive. We’re already in survival mode when we begin.
Here’s the thing. Other people can go into business like that. But for some reason, empaths and healers can’t. You try, and then the initiations come, and you realize: I can’t actually do it this way, because there’s so much trauma between me and my business, and within myself.
Empaths are so open. When you have no boundaries, you can carry wounding that isn’t even yours. And so much of society is quietly codependent with work: codependent with business, with jobs, full of people-pleasing energy. An empath feels all of it.
My first year: perfectionism, shame, performance, and getting sick
The first year I went into business, I was spiralling in perfectionism, shame and performance. I didn’t even know I was in shame. I wasn’t connected to my body. I was completely dissociated, living in a fantasy that my business would get me out of survival mode and save me.
I didn’t know I was performing, because my identity was performance. I tried so hard to please my business. And I got incredibly sick.
I didn’t have a voice in my relationships, and I didn’t have a voice in my business. I didn’t have a voice anywhere. That’s the relationship I was in, and those were the wounds I had to work through.
How the relationship began to heal
The first year I actually began making income, I was led by the soul within me and my intuition. And for the first while, it was all about connecting to my body and regulating emotions: releasing trauma from my body. That’s what started it all.
As you go deeper, it becomes about healing relationship dynamics. And as you go deeper still, you reach the end of yourself. The absolute end. And then it’s your relationship within yourself and God. It’s you, your soul and God in business.
That is the deepest relationship there is.
Your healing business mirrors your deepest wounding
There are so many things we heal as empaths and healers, so many skill sets we acquire. But the deepest thing you’ll ever heal and grow into, as a healer chosen for this path, is your business.
Because your healing business is not a regular business. It mirrors your deepest wounding. You’re being initiated as you go, and that mirror is showing you: this is what’s coming up for you. This is what you need to heal.
So if you’re on this path and you want to keep progressing, here is the one thing I learned: look at your relationship with business, within yourself. You are the business. Healing yourself is the business.
Key takeaways
- You are in a relationship with your business, and it can be codependent: idolizing it, being controlled by it, people-pleasing it, performing for it.
- Empaths and healers often can’t build a business from survival mode; the trauma between you and your business surfaces as “initiations.”
- Perfectionism, shame and performance in business can show up in the body, including illness.
- Healing tends to unfold in layers: the body and emotions, then relationship dynamics, then your relationship with yourself, your soul and God.
- A healing business mirrors your deepest wounding, so building it becomes part of your own healing.
Frequently asked questions
Can you be codependent with your business?
Yes. If your business controls you, you perform for it, people-please it and can’t be yourself in it, that is a codependent relationship. Healing it starts with your relationship within yourself.
Why is running a business so hard for empaths and healers?
Empaths are very open and often carry unhealed wounds, and sometimes wounding that isn’t theirs, into their work. Building from survival mode tends to break down, because a healing business mirrors your deepest wounding.
What does “healing yourself is the business” mean?
For healers, the business and the healing aren’t separate. What comes up in your business (fear, shame, people-pleasing, losing your voice) is showing you what to heal. As you heal, your business changes.
Can business stress make you sick?
Chronic stress, dissociation and performing for years can take a real toll on the body. In my own story, I got very sick in my first year of business. If you have physical symptoms, work with your doctor too; emotional healing works alongside medical care.
If you know your business is your path and your healing, the Body to Business Portal is where I walk with you through it. You can also book a free 15-minute consult.
Can’t find a time that works, or want to reach Tracey directly? Send a message or email truehealthcounselling@gmail.com.
Tracey Nguyen, RN, MN, is a Toronto nurse psychotherapist (Ontario licence #12492206) helping people heal narcissistic abuse, codependency and chronic illness, in the soul and the body. Education and reflection, not medical advice. In crisis, call or text 988.
