What is the Best Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse?

People who are narcissistic abuse victims with narcissistic victim syndrome are people who have been gaslit and controlled and manipulated for several years. If you were raised by a narcissistic parent, then you may have developed developmental trauma from constant narcissistic abuse, and that’s really going do a number on you because it messes up the way that you think about things, the way that you feel about things and the way that you perceive things; you’re always going to feel like you’re under someone else’s control and it can be very confusing. People end up feeling like they don’t know who they are, they’re confused; they’re indecisive and these are all symptoms of narcissistic abuse and not being able to own your own reality.

It is common that you tend to get stuck in feeling “Is my feeling right? I don’t even know if I can trust myself” because there’s a level of control that’s always happening in your mind because when we’ve grown up with narcissistic abuse, you’ll internalize the ​​parent, and the whole dynamic becomes you.

With narcissistic abuse, you give your power away to pretty much everything unconsciously. So you’re always wondering and second-guessing, am I doing this right? Or am I doing this wrong it’s so tiring and people end up having chronic fatigue and depression because they feel like they move through life in a way where their internal dialogue and your subconscious state is a slew of second guesses.

Being constantly controlled by another is like leaking power because you’re unconsciously looking for validation, or you’re needing things that go a certain way or you’re getting internally abused by things that feel right for you. If it feels right for you, your mind will fight you and say that it’s wrong. It will push back, and that’s why it’s just so messed up.

Narcissistic abuse is so messy when we’ve internalized it and we’ve developed developmental trauma around it and so the best therapy for narcissistic abuse is actually to:

1) Release a lot of resistance to how we really feel, how we really feel in our navigation, in our desire and in our truth.

The best therapy for narcissistic abuse again, is actually to release resistance to our own reality. I believe that the best therapy for any kind of hardship, abuse or trauma is releasing resistance. Because without releasing resistance we will always feel heavy, stuck and trapped in where we are, so it is so important to release the emotional resistance around what is.

In the beginning, when I was healing from narcissistic abuse, I had so much resistance to being who I really am that I just spent years and years just feeling the resistance, and feeling all the emotions that I have. When constantly being invalidated or rejected for years, there was a lot of processing of emotions I had to do, and I felt like I had to go through emotional healing.

The emotional resistance release was absolutely necessary, especially for long-term narcissistic abuse, because there’s just so much resistance and being who we are, and if we grew up with a parent who was unpredictable and angry, that narcissistic abuse trauma gets piled on with a very unsafe, unpredictable sort of patterning where you learn how to walk on eggshells. You learn how to basically tiptoe and do things right so that you don’t set off a parent and then what happens is that you become emotionally dysregulated and emotionally chaotic. It’s very unsafe to feel what you feel. It is unsafe to express how you feel and so there’s all this repression going on, so the next best therapy for narcissistic abuse is:

2) Expression work

Expression work is absolutely necessary and expression in a safe manner for yourself that is authentic to yourself with releasing emotional resistance and expression work.

The other best therapy for narcissistic abuse is:

3) Understanding the dynamics deeply because when you have been manipulated and gaslit for so long, what happens is that you internalize and self-gaslight. It means that you’ll always gaslight yourself inside with your own internal thoughts and feelings.

You’ll always move one step forward and then you end up doubting yourself or you’re unsure, so this uncertainty or this constant feeling of “I don’t know.”You can feel so decisive one moment then you can change your mind and sometimes you change your mind because of the internal gaslighting and the pushback and that’s us internalizing what’s happened, so to repeat the best therapies for narcissistic abuse are:

  1. Releasing emotional resistance,

  2. Authentic emotional expression

  3. Learning the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, how they played out in your life and how they show up in your shadow behaviours, such as self-gaslighting, manipulation, control, survival mechanisms and coping strategies that have kept you safe.

The best therapy for narcissistic abuse is basically breaking down who you’ve created to survive and knowing how to do these three things, and then emerging as your true self. The best therapy for narcissistic abuse is to go through an emotional awakening and a spiritual journey of uncovering who you are.

To Your Healing,

Tracey Nguyen, RN, MN, Holistic Nurse Psychotherapist 

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